Since the moment this little girl was born I've felt obsessively in love with her. And as much as she's only ever wanted to sleep in my arms and nap on me, and as much as I've complained about not being able to get anything done or have any time to myself because of that, I've clung to her every bit as tightly as she has to me.
As the autism storm has raged around us I've often felt like my attention hasn't been on her as much as it should have been, maybe that's why I never want to put her down, why I love to snuggle up together for her naps and on an evening. Some irrational part of my brain thinks if I put her in a cot I'll forget she's there. I used to feel that way with my son, I was scared to take my eyes off him in case he disappeared and just turned out to be a dream. This kind of love is quite crazy. She's growing so fast now, look at her, so perfect
I adore the times we're out walking together, her snuggled up in the sling. She's developing a lovely little character now, she loves music - quite specifically Taylor Swift, Meghan Trainor, Jessie j, Bruno Mars... It's not my thing, but I love it that she loves them. If they come on the tv she stops whatever she's doing to watch.
She grabs at everything and shouts if you take something off her. She'd eat all the paper she could get her hands on if I let her. She also loves smiling at people and charming strangers on the bus. She's adorable.
At 8 months she wants to stand all the time and is pulling herself up all the time. We're coming to the end of an era and I'm not ready for it to end. The future is too scary and right now things are pretty calm.
My boy is happy at nursery, he's coming on so well, i am so immensely proud of him. He's so much fun and an absolute joy, he's a cheeky little monkey. He can almost write his name, his imagination is really taking off and he surprises me every day with something new he can suddenly do.
So can we just stay here for now? Please?
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