The shit magnet strikes again

The Inland Revenue

I think the universe has it in for me. Seriously.

I’ll try to sum it up in a nutshell.  My husband works for the family business, the family business is struggling – I don’t know how it can possibly survive current events but you never know. We have a substantial amount of money tied up in the business and if the business goes, so does the money. So it’s more than just my husband’s job that’s at stake, to cut to the chase it’s also our home…

With my job unlikely to continue beyond March next year, we’ve been going out of our minds with worry, imagining all the doom and gloom scenarios, tearing our hair out and generally feeling like the world is coming to an end.

For me the worst part was thinking I may have to give up the dream of another child. That cut deeper than anything else. How could I ever get over Peanut without the hope of another child? It made me feel like I was losing another baby all over again.

But then the dust settled and the taxman was temporarily appeased (I stress, temporarily, we just managed to buy more time, nothing has been resolved) but I’ve started to feel better about things.

I’ve found it really helps if you stop being overly dramatic about things and actually think it through rationally, clearly; what really is the worst that can happen? And what would you do then? But what is the most likely outcome? How would you tackle that? I’m not the kind of person who can put something out of my mind in the hope it may never happen, I need to know that I could cope, I need to know what I would do.

If worse comes to worst; we sell our house, clear all debts, start over with new jobs and rent a new home. We won’t be the first people in history to lose it all and start over. It’s not the end of the world. At least our family will still be together.

If worse doesn’t quite come to worst, but does get pretty bad, we may be able to strike up a deal with the mortgage company until we can find other jobs and get back on our feet. That’s a more likely scenario.

So, although it felt pretty catastrophic, well, actually I think we’ll be ok, no matter what happens.

And where does this leave our plans for a second baby? Well, it may not be entirely sensible but I just can’t let it go, it’s unthinkable. We’re still trying.  If it happens I’ll probably not have the luxury of a decent maternity leave, I’ll be busy looking for a job as soon as possible. And it may well have to be a full time job too. But we’ll make it work. As long as we all have each other.

Life in general isn’t perfect anyway, for anyone, isn’t it always about making the best of what you have?