Talking about... Talking

Yesterday we had a visit from Taters new speech therapist, I say new but actually that's only new to me and my husband because she's already visited him once in nursery without our knowledge. 

The second time she'd gone into nursery to work with him was days after our daughter was born and he wasn't in (which had we known she planned to see him, we'd have informed her of). So instead she asked to visit him at home. 

You might be able to sense my irritation at not keeping us informed of their visits? But anyway at last we got to meet her and I just don't know what to make of it. Yes she seems nice enough, no complaints there, but I had a strong sense of de ja vous as she sat making notes, asking the same questions as the last one and talking about her plans to assess his level of understanding and general language skills so she can work out where he needs help, how hopefully he will open up to get more once he gets to know her better. All that is fair enough but she only sees him once every couple of months so how is he going to become more familiar with her?

 I'm just a little frustrated because his last speech therapist said the same things and barely ever saw him, never got round to assessing him and barely did any actual speech therapy with him before referring us onwards for an autism assessment. All they seem to have done up until now is make notes, ask questions, visit him very infrequently and not actually do any speech therapy with him! I 'm baffled. 

I don't want to get arsey with people who  are out to help him, but they don't seem to actually be doing anything beyond make notes. If the plan is just to monitor his progress then just tell us that, because he is actually doing just fine without their help! To say he only uttered his first word this time last year his progress is amazing and his talking is getting better all the time.

The only real thing that came out of the meeting was learning that the autism assessment should take place around October/November time. I was beginning to wonder if he'd even been referrerd at all as we'd heard nothing in months. At least we know that now.

But in the meantime I feel like my little fella has been abandoned, it makes me wonder if they're so convinced he's autistic that they're just biding their time until the autism assessment when they can then hand him over to this other organisation. I don't know, I only know I don't feel good about this whole thing. 

When you don't quite know what to think

The more I watch Taters, the more I find myself wondering if his little peculiarities aren’t ASD related, but down to his speech delay. Now he is talking he’s advancing so quickly it seems feasible to me that he will just catch up with other kids and this will all be a storm in a teacup.


Our latest developments are verbally arguing with me – as opposed to just stropping and crying - telling me little lies and also singing. He couldn’t do any of these things just three weeks ago. It feels like anything is possible. Even his repetitive talking is disappearing and our conversations are made up of him answering me, or adding in a new sentence or observation as opposed to repeating himself or whatever I just said.

Where we're at now

Ever since Taters was referred for the Autism assessment I’ve been talking and talking and talking about it to anyone who will listen. And it’s really helped to hear everyone else’s experiences of the condition. I’m far from an expert but I’ve had my eyes opened and now realise there is so much about autism that I don’t know, so much I’ve yet to learn. I get what they mean when they say the spectrum is very wide. It really is.

On hearing the term "autism" I'd immediately envisioned special schools, a lonely existence with no hope of ever forming a relationship. Now I've heard so many varied stories, so many different experiences, I know that even if he is diagnosed, his future is not set in stone, in fact it's as unpredictable yet full of possibilities as anyone elses.

The Bombshell

We had a review meeting last week at the nursery, led by the specialist speech therapist and the early years intervention team to discuss their assessments of Taters, what action to take next etc. It ended with me blubbing my eyes out and walking back home with tears streaming down my face. So no, it didn’t go well.

The upshot of it all was that he’s doing so well with his talking that he no longer needs the specialist speech therapist, but as a parting gesture she’s referring him for an autism assessment. Unable to ignore his repetitive behaviour and fear of new situations, she feels she has to.

The first parents evening

Last night we had Taters first ever parent's evening and it was great to actually talk to the nursery about how he’s settling in there – without speech therapists, early years inclusion teams, any of that.

I was pretty nervous about what I would hear, could I take it if they told me he’s not interested in other kids, won’t mix, can’t do half the things the others do? If he’s markedly different from other kids his age? Could I handle that?

Poo-Gate

I just had my second telephone conversation in a week about my son’s toilet habits, whilst at work and in front of the rest of the office. Ah the joys of being a working mum!

Embarrassment aside it was quite an eye opener since this call was from a speech therapist who has apparently been working with him for the last few weeks without my knowledge. Yes, I knew it was on the cards, but I was totally oblivious to the fact it was already happening.

Nursery - the first few weeks

So yes, Taters has now officially started nursery. And what with speech delay issues and his general clinginess I was really rather worried. The nursery has been utterly amazing though at helping him settle in and because of them he’s really enjoying going. I’m thrilled to bits.

My little genius

Obviously there has been more than pregnancy going on in my small corner of the world. Little Taters has come on the leaps and bounds with his talking in the past few weeks. 

Speech Therapy - the next steps

The next stage of speech therapy has begun for our little Taters and yesterday we had a home visit from a specialist speech therapist. It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. For starters we’d had a busy weekend celebrating his birthday and the little fella was tired out. As a result he wasn’t happy about a stranger turning up in our house, let alone one who was taking a keen interest him. Plus he didn’t like being made to stay in one room while we talked – he wanted to be off. So he wasn’t interested in playing or getting to know her and the session was nicely rounded off with him having the biggest paddy I’ve seen in a long time. It was totally out of character.

Speech Therapy - The Six Week Review

We took Taters back for his assessment with the speech therapist yesterday. If you remember we initially saw her for five sessions, then we were sent away for six weeks to put everything into practice before heading back for a final assessment. In that time my little man has amazed me; going from having no words whatsoever to 27 words and counting. All in the space of five weeks.  

A Weekend in Sunny Scarborough

We took Taters on his first proper trip to the seaside at the weekend, to Scarborough to be precise. I love Scarborough, generations of my family have gone on holiday there and I spent many summers there as a child. I remember the Tree Walk through Peasholm park, all the fairy lights strung in lines between the trees, the loud bangs of the navel battles with the model boats on the boating lake, riding on the miniature steam train, fish and chips covered in salt and vinegar on the harbour, dodging the waves that crash onto the pavement near the north bay, the bright flashing lights of the arcades. 

Words!

Everyone's keeping their fingers crossed!

It’s been a few weeks since our last speech therapy session and something amazing has begun to happen. I’m almost scared to write this in case it proves to be a false start, but it does feel different somehow this time.

 Little man Taters is beginning to speak. It’s early days, just a few words, and not especially well pronounced, but definitely words and not just babbles that resemble words; they are spoken with meaning, with emphasis and in the right context to convey something specific. You know, like proper words!

To recap, Taters will be three in October and despite seeming on the verge of talking for the last 18 months, he couldn’t actually speak (at a push he could mimic the words Mummy and Daddy, but extremely rarely).

Speech Therapy: Catch Up

We’ve finished the initial block of speech therapy sessions and now we’re on our own for the next six weeks to put them into practice. I must admit I came away feeling a little disheartened, yes he’s making more complex noises and he’s taken to the sign language brilliantly. Most importantly the speech therapist is certain he’s really trying to speak, something we couldn’t really say previously.

But I didn’t feel very encouraged, perhaps I’d hoped for a miracle, perhaps it’s because he’s seemed to be on the verge of talking for so long I can’t see how this  time is any different. I don’t know. I just didn’t feel very confident in things changing.

Speech Therapy: Session 2

Last week was the second session of speech therapy and I must admit, I didn’t come away quite as enthusiastic as the previous week. That week all the suggestions were to try things we hadn’t done before, whereas this week initially I came away thinking, “But we already do that!” So I couldn’t see how it could possibly make a difference.

Speech Therapy Session One

So yesterday we had our first appointment with the speech therapist after months of waiting.

Hearing Test

We took Taters for a hearing test the other week as part of his speech therapy. The results came back absolutely fine – which I knew they would, but I was still really anxious they’d find something wrong, tests and scans usually equal bad news at the moment. But not this time.

Catching Up

Sugar Free So-So

I’ve spent the last few days feeling below par, struggling with my monthly hormonal migraine. I had hoped that going sugar free would prove to be some miraculous cure for that but unfortunately not. I guess it has only been a few weeks so who knows, maybe next month. I’d love to be able to come out with all these statements about how it cured this problem, resolved that, how I’ve never looked or felt better. Sadly not, not yet anyway, sorry.

Is this all my fault?

I’m starting to really worry about Tater’s speech delay. I’ve waited and waited for him to talk, thinking any day now he’d suddenly amaze me and call me mummy. At 18 months I wasn't worried, there were a few of us at playgroup with kids who weren't talking,  then 18 months became 2 years, then two and a half came and went and still no words. The other late talkers had left us behind one by one, and we're the last ones now with still no words. And I'm starting to panic.

I've got a little secret

Time to own up, yes I’m pregnant, 7 weeks pregnant or thereabouts. I’m not as terrified as I was when I was pregnant with Taters, but I’m not quite as relaxed about it as I was when I initially found out. For a good week or so I had an almost zen like calm and was bursting with love towards this tiny bundle of cells multiplying within me – then the nausea kicked in and I suppose the hormones went to work on my calm state of mind, and since then, alongside sick and tired, I just feel damn right weird; emotionally closed off and like I’m on another planet. I seem to have almost forgotten there is a baby (hopefully) growing inside me at the root of all this.