One little article, so many questions…

More stories abound in the press today warning us women that we should have our babies by 35 or risk sleepless nights regretting never having children.

Oh my bloody god, at 37 I’m a lost cause aren’t I? Why do I even read these articles anymore!

Trying and failing to get a grip

It’s that mid-point time of the month again and the ovulation testing kit is flashing its smiley face at me and telling me it’s time.

It's a high fertile day

I’ve purchased one of those ovulation testing kits, something I didn’t really want to do; I wanted to fall pregnant quickly and naturally, without any help from the world of science, don’t we all? But it hasn’t happened straight away, and damn right I’m impatient, so if there’s anything more I can be doing, then it’s time to swallow my pride and just do it.

Alright, alright, I AM counting

I just came on.

I’d hoped by some sheer stroke of good luck I’d get pregnant this month, without putting in much effort, without really thinking about it, it could have crept in under the radar and I might even have been able to ignore it for a few weeks – because let’s face it, if I do get pregnant again it’s going to be scary. To be able to ignore it for as many weeks as possible would be a blessing.

I'm Not Counting!

I suppose it’s fair to say we’re now trying for another baby again, although we’re really not making any kind of big deal about it. There’s no counting days to work out when the ‘fertile window’ might be – I’m not even sure when I’m due on anyway since I don’t know what the miscarriage has done to my cycles, and it's better that way, I hate it that whole thing of waiting to find out if this month you were successful. I like being ignorant about it, it takes off the pressure. I’m just closely listening to my body to work out when it’s that fertile time of the month and we'll go with that. But even then there’ll be no heroic efforts to get pregnant during that time. Well, perhaps not for the first few months.

I know I can’t really forget about it, but I almost want to. I want to concentrate on other things as much as I can.

To move or not to move?

Sugar Free Baking – Attempt 2

Mmmmn, lumpy......

Yes, following the disaster that was my sugar free gingerbread men, I picked myself up and decided to try my hand at sugar free buns instead. Once again honey was my sugar-alternative of choice, and once again the results were, well, not all that I would hope for. The mixture itself looked more like greasy porridge and whereas with normal buns part of the joy is helping yourself to left over mixture, I just couldn’t bring myself to even try it!

The results are in this month and... I'm not pregnant. Boo!

Whenever I take a knock I always like to have a bit of time to feel bad about it, to brood and feel a bit sorry for myself, then it’s time to dust myself off and formulate “a plan” - which gives me the illusion of getting some control back. I’m not really a control freak, in fact the plan usually gets ditched along the way, but I just like to feel like I know where I’m heading.

So I’m not pregnant, which is fine, it’s not been all that long (though secretly I was hoping I’d turn out to be uber-fertile and fall pregnant the second I decided I wanted another child). Balls, looks like I’m a mere human after all – how disappointing.

Ready, steady... wait

It’s official, we are now trying for baby number two. I’m excited, a little nervous, but more than anything excited. I’m at the start of a new adventure and I have no idea how it will pan out. In some ways this is the best bit, when it’s all a dream you’re trying to make come true and the future is full of hope and promise.

There may be trouble ahead...

It’s been a little over three years since I decided that if I wanted children then me and the husband better get a move on and start trying. I was 32 and bored of the world of clubbing and drinking, it was time for something different. I didn't actually feel grown up enough but I realised that if I wanted two children (and that was always the unacknowledged scenario floating around in the back of my head) then we really ought to make a start now.  My other half always wanted children someday so the way we saw it, why not make that someday now? We do tend to make our major life changing decisions that way, with a shrug and a sense of,  “Ah go on then, why not?”