Why quitting is no longer an option

Yes I have been thrown lately by the whole ASD assessment, and my old money worries are still lurking in the background occasionally rearing their ugly head and filling me with dread, but by no means does that mean I’ve thrown the whole Laws of Attraction thing out of the window. Why would I? Up until now I’ve been a total worrier and negative thinker and it has had a limiting effect on my life – I completely believe that. Therefore I’ve nothing to lose but a lot to gain by changing tracks and trying a new approach.

Law of Attraction - the gist of it all

I’ve been reading about the “Law of Attraction” recently– a topic I seem to be stumbling upon left, right and centre, in fact it keeps throwing itself into my path demanding to be read. Who was I to argue with that?

The Law of Attraction is basically the principle of "like attracting like" That's it in a nutshell. If you're negative you attract bad things, if you're positive you attract good things...

To a certain degree I can get on board with this since it sounds similar to the self-fulfilling prophecy theory I studied in A-Level psychology. And in my own life I’ve regularly talked about feeling like a shit magnet, or being trapped in a shit vortex - which is essentially the Law of Attraction working in it's negative form.

Dinner with an old foe

I am a firm believer in surrounding yourself with the right people, and gently removing people from your life who don’t support you, cause you pain, drain you, turn you into a raving lunatic who wants to explode at the mere mention of their name… I believe in forgiveness, but I also believe you have to let those people go for the sake of your health.

But how do you do that when said person is the wife of one of your husband’s closest friends, and who has ingratiated herself into your circle of friends? That’s the part I’m struggling with.

I had a rant about the person in question here.

I wish her no harm, in fact I wish her well. Genuinely. But I don’t want her in my life. There have been too many lies. Too many times she has driven me half insane with her behaviour. And believe me, I have tried for years to make things work; to find common ground, to focus on the good, to understand her and put myself in her shoes. Literally years. But I can’t do anymore. When I see her on a regular basis it turns me into someone I don’t like, I dwell on things she does, I moan about her, I bitch behind her back. It eats me up. It poisons me.

The Introverted Mummy

I've been struggling with how to write this post for a while. It's a tricky one to verbalise.

You see I’ve always known I was an introvert, but I kind of expected myself to behave differently as a mother, to force myself to behave how a mother "should" behave and just not be introverted somehow. I struggled and it had a knock on effect on my confidence.

Fingers crossed

This is my favourite time of the month. Ovulation has come and gone, we’ve done all we can and now have to wait and see. In two weeks or so the results will be in and then I will be either disappointed or terrified.